Inbox - Penance

[red_song]

...
Just say something. I might listen.

Comments

[twatter]

ok so yeah. that probably wasn't smart and like i could have done it in private but the fact that i didn't means i wasn't hiding it yanno?

and now monika's mad and she won't answer my texts

and that's not even the biggest deal bc i........

well i REALLY fucked up. worse than just flirting and i was gonna tell her. but now idk if i should if this is how she's acting. what if she leaves me?

[red_song]

You are well aware of my opinions of her and her worthiness of you.

If she cannot handle the fact that one as great as you cannot be limited without confining you in unfair ways, she continues to meet my low expectations.

[twatter]

you really think i'm great?

[ Somehow in all of that, that's the thing he honed in on the most. ]

[red_song]

You are my most special person, other than my brother.

[twatter]

i'm worried i'm gonna fuck that up for you, blues

because that's all i ever keep seeming to do

disappoint people

i proposed to monika. then only a few days later, i slept with someone else.

i couldn't even uphold the vow i made for a fucking week

[red_song]

Humans traditionally have many months to years of association before suggestions of long term association from my understanding.

Perhaps you should realize that the vow was not one that should have been made. You are a god, not a mortal. You should not be beholden to mortal laws. Especially contradictory human norms.

[twatter]

[ Loki's words come to mind, playing in his head like a mantra. If you want a possession, then marriage will not solve anything. It will not keep her tethered to you. ]

gods get married too

most of them cheat, tho

i wanted to be different than that

and maybe it was too soon to ask

but i love her and i wanted to prove that i love her

[red_song]

If you love her, then saying it alone should be sufficient for her. And we are mortal programs, she has no right to put demands or expectations or limitations on the love you are capable of. Period.

I do not care what other gods do. You are not other gods.

[twatter]

you're right about that. i'm not other gods

i am better and superior

but the world writes a lot of love songs about how like love is more than words

and you gotta show don't tell

idk. this shit is new and idk how i feel about it

but i know it feels like shit right now

that saying 'it's better to have loved and lost than to never love at all?' that saying's bullshit.

[red_song]

I have never heard a love song. I do not base my world perception upon them. It would be foolish.

If you feel bad, then it's her fault and you don't deserve that.

[twatter]

lol i appreciate having you in my corner man.

but like do you really think its her fault or is that just you saying that bc you don't like her?

[red_song]

Both.

[twatter]

hahaha at least you're honest

if things do end between me and her, don't take it out on her, tho. i'll take care of it. promise

[red_song]

I see no point in lying. Lying is for humans.

[twatter]

you're not wrong. but sometimes it can have its uses

especially when dealing with humans

[red_song]

No, we should not be at their level.

[twatter]

not with each other, no. like i would never lie to you, dude

but other gods and humans? i would and i have

[red_song]

So we should lie to humans?

[twatter]

when it serves a purpose. when you know they are trying to manipulate you. humans won't hesitate to destroy you, so why hesitate to use their tools against them?

[red_song]

There are some here who have not tried to destroy me.

[twatter]

*some* aren't bad. if they're trustworthy and have treated you right, keep treating them with respect.

but remember we are in hell.

most people are here for a reason and won't hesitate to backstab you.

i learned this lesson the hard way a couple times here already.

[red_song]

Has someone caused you harm?

[twatter]

nothing major. but it has made it pretty clear most people do not have my best interests at heart

i'll get my revenge, tho. trust me

[red_song]

I have only your interests in my heart.

Let me assist you.

[twatter]

i know you do, blues ❤️ that's why i trust you completely.

if it comes down to a point where i need to fight, i'll call on you. i promise. for now it's just annoyances and a few setbacks.